You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
