youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
