She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
