there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
