I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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