In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
