Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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