do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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