you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
