i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
