Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
