So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
