Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
