dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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