ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
