My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
