They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
