I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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