They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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