i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
