I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
a search helicopter?!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
