my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
