So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
