oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
