We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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