be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
