She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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