I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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