Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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