I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
