I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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