The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
