I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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