i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We had to coat check the pizza.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
