Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize