What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
