if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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