So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
