I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
These tits shall not be calmed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
