Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
