we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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