we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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