Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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