Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
