she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
