I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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