Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
