3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
