The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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