Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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