Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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